Introduction

This directory aims to promote an appropriate and efficient response to women who are fleeing or experiencing domestic violence. It is set out into two sections.

Part 1 gives detailed information on how to respond effectively to domestic violence. It includes information on understanding domestic violence and best practice responses, as well detailed information about legal protection and what services you can find in the London Borough of Newham to help you.

Part 2 contains a detailed directory of organisations and groups that can be used to access the services you may need.

This directory is aimed at providing information to domestic violence advisors and other key agencies, about how to assist those who are experiencing domestic violence. We also hope that abused women fleeing domestic violence can also access the directory for information and advice.

Positive statement on women

Newham Council is committed to taking positive action for women’s equality. Our aim is to give each woman in Newham the chance to reach her full potential. We want women to have equal access to the services we provide. We also want our services to be of high quality and for women to find them relevant and sensitive.

Women in Newham are entitled to live in a society which recognises and challenges all violence against women and children, irrespective of the survivor/victim’s race, religion, sexuality, disability, age, class, livelihood, citizenship status, her relationship with the perpetrator, or whether such violence takes place within or outside the home.

Newham Council will continue to work in partnership with other organisations affecting local women’s lives, such as the police and health authority. Through positive action the Council intends to progressively break down the barriers many women face in order to take their full part in the local community and have equal access to services that are of benefit to them.

Definition of Domestic Violence

We use the term domestic violence to describe the pattern of abuse (such as threats, intimidation, physical, sexual, emotional or psychological violence) of one person (usually a woman) by another (usually a man) with whom they have or have had an intimate or family relationship. Research has shown repeatedly that it is nearly always women who experience domestic violence and nearly always men who are the primary perpetrators. Domestic Violence can occur in lesbian and gay relationships. The intention of the perpetrator is to exert and maintain power and control.

Domestic violence can affect any one regardless of age, race, class, religion, sexual orientation or disability. We recognise that in this society certain groups may face additional obstacles and discrimination when seeking help.

Domestic violence is unacceptable and is a crime. Everyone has the right to live their life free from fear, intimidation and violence.

Different agencies work with different groups of people within the broad definition of domestic violence, e.g. some agencies work only with women.

The size of the problem

Domestic violence is very common: it can happen to any woman, regardless of her age, social class, race, disability, sexual orientation or lifestyle. Women from all communities experience domestic violence.

Domestic violence can start at any point in a relationship, even after many years, however research shows that formal marriage, pregnancy or childbirth can often signal the beginning of abuse. Domestic violence is rarely a one-off event. Physical violence often escalates in frequency and severity over time. The violence can take many forms and even though the physical or sexual abuse may not happen regularly, other forms of threatening, abusive or controlling behaviour may be ongoing and used to force a woman or child in the household to do what the perpetrator wishes. Even if a woman leaves a violent man, the abuse may continue afterwards, through unwanted contact, stalking, harassment and by using the children during contact arrangements to further abuse the woman

Here are some facts:

·        The single largest category of assaults uncovered by the latest British Crime Survey was domestic violence, and 80% of these assaults were against women. (Mayhew et al, HMSO, 1993). Mayhew comments "as the survey is likely to undercount many such incidents [against women] this figure should be regarded as a minimum".

·        The average length of time a woman endures violence before leaving is seven years (Binney et al, WAFE, 1988). Research has shown that a woman is beaten an average of 35 times before she seeks help.

·        Domestic violence constitutes 25% of all murders in this country.

·        Home Office figures show that almost half of all murders of women are committed by partners or ex-partners; an average of two women are killed every week.

·        In 2002/3 in England alone 54,500 women and children fleeing violence were accommodated in refuges, a further 145,000 were offered help and assistance from refuges and 21,000 calls were made to the WAFE National Domestic Violence Helpline.

·        An estimated 100,000 women every year seek medical treatment for injuries received in the home.  

This Directory, therefore, starts from the position that:

·        The problem is widespread.

·        The survivor/victim is entitled to a life free from violence and abuse.

Some people prefer the word ‘survivor’ because it emphasises the strength of the person that has lived through the abuse. However, it is also true that many women are so brutalised that the word ‘victim’ can be an accurate description. For some women the use of the word ‘victim’ shifts the blame to the perpetrator, which they find helpful.
 

Myths and stereotypes associated with domestic violence

·        Despite the fact that domestic violence is a serious and widespread problem and domestic assault has now been recognised by the government and the police to be a crime like any other, there are still many myths and stereotypes about the nature and causes of domestic violence.

Sometimes women themselves come to believe in these myths and stereotypes and this can prevent women from talking about what is happening to them. Women can become cut off from help and support and this can threaten the physical and mental health of women and their children and in some cases has resulted in deaths. The widespread misunderstanding about the nature of domestic violence also means that women do not get the help and services they need.

It is interesting to note that many of the myths hold women responsible for experiencing domestic violence, rather than holding the perpetrator accountable for his criminal behaviour.

Below are some myths and stereotypes that sometimes prevent women from seeking help.

·        "It is a private matter"

Many people see domestic violence as a private family matter because historically women have been seen as the property of men, and traditional attitudes in cultures decree ‘the woman’s place is in the home’. Until relatively recently women in many countries were subject to the legal control of men: 100 years ago it was legal for a man in the UK to beat his wife, provided he used a stick no thicker than his thumb. Women are also used as objects for sexual gratification, giving the man, be it a husband, partner, father or brother, the licence to treat her as he pleases. Many lives have been lost because our communities often refuse to admit the cruelty, abuse and violence that women and children suffer.

Many women themselves feel unable to make public their experiences, through shame, embarrassment or fear. But domestic violence is no longer a private matter. Women should be empowered to realise their individual and full human rights.

·        "He only does it when he is drunk"

Alcohol or substance misuse are often seen as explanations for domestic violence by service providers as well as by family members and the perpetrators themselves. Abused women who are isolated from other survivors often see alcohol as the cause of the abuse. But research shows that many men abuse when they are sober, and that when alcohol is involved it acts mainly as a ‘disinhibitor’, that allows the man to abuse his partner but then blame it on the drink. In any case, there is no excuse for violence against a woman at any time or in any circumstances. Moreover, we do not excuse football hooligans for their behaviour simply because they were drunk; why should domestic violence perpetrators be viewed differently?

·        "She provokes it"

A woman experiencing violence and abuse is often made to feel and think that she is at fault. The abuser might blame her for provoking the violence, and say that her behaviour is the cause. Research shows that abusers often find fault with women’s housekeeping or childcare skills. Such comments are sometimes aimed at making the woman feel ashamed and responsible and to prevent her from talking about it in public. In some cases they are used to control everything she does. An abusive man will always find fault, even with a woman who tries to be perfect. Unfortunately an abuser’s control tactics are often reinforced by the individuals and agencies with whom an abused woman comes into contact, who may in turn themselves criticise her skills and coping behaviour rather than challenge his ‘right’ to abuse her, and in so doing they collude with him in the abuse.

·        "Social Services will take my children away"

Some abusers, or their friends and relatives, make women believe that it is not culturally acceptable to make the violence public and that if Social Services are informed, they would take the children into care. It is important to explain to women that Social Services wish to avoid removing children from parents wherever possible, and aim to support the non-abusive and caring parent to stay with her children.

·        "It can’t be that bad or else she’d leave"

This is one of the most prevalent myths about domestic violence, even amongst those people that are aware of the seriousness and extent of the problem. The reasons women stay with, or return to, violent and abusive partners range from love to terror. They may still love the man but hate the violence; even when they have decided to leave they may be found and persuaded or frightened into returning. A key reason is that women often simply do not know how to get help or where to go. There is still a lack of adequate help, advice and accommodation, despite the existence of refuges and women’s support services. For most women, their children’s well being is a prime concern: the worry about uprooting them and the fear of losing them. However, many women do leave when they no longer feel able to protect their children or realise that their children are being badly affected. Many women will have additional pressures and difficulties related to their experience of abuse and to the attitudes of the agencies from whom they seek help; for example, Black and ethnic minority women, lesbians and disabled women. Even when women do leave their abuser, it may be many years before they can be free of him. Leaving can also be very dangerous — many women are stalked or killed by ex-partners after they have left.